How to be a 21st century gentleman

Some claim that the age of a true gentleman is far behind us but, here at the Gentleman’s Journal, we obviously disagree. He may appear in different guises today, but the values and ideals that make him a gent still stand. So, we’ve made a definitive list to follow by – but don’t worry, it doesn’t involve suits, a bowler hat and a pocket watch…

Photo by Adam Fussell for Gentleman’s Journal

Wooing a lady is a whole lot different now, and we have come to accept the fact that texting and messaging through different mediums is a legitimate way of getting to know someone. This is acceptable in the pursuit, but don’t build (or break) your relationships around texts, DMs, snaps and everything in between. Because can you really picture a gentleman that always hides behind a screen? Thought not – because that would be depressing.

This is a tricky one as it really depends on the woman you’re dating. Be courteous but not chauvinistic. Offering your coat is one thing, but she can definitely order her entree by herself. It’s the 21st century, so don’t be too stubborn in your efforts – she likes a gentleman, not a try-hard hero (where she hangs off your arm like a damsel in distress).

‘Selfies’ are better taken by someone else. Nothing screams ‘you’re so vain’ more than a self indulgent pout fresh out of the gym, with your entire Instagram account splashed with your best angles. Being proud of your sculpted body is great, just don’t over display it like a circus animal.

On that note, a gentleman never boasts about what’s going on down below (it’s crude and will leave others wondering how you became so insecure), so let her be the judgement of that asset behind closed doors. Modern society has lowered the boundaries, but that doesn’t mean you should ever sink to them.

The temptation to be constantly checking your phone is irresistible but nothing will turn off a girl more than you rolling over and scrolling through Facebook or Snapchat stories in bed. There is something far more interesting going on in front of you. And, should you feel that a serious relationship is nearing its end, don’t (we repeat, don’t) end it over text. That’s just lazy, and pathetic, so end it matters in person.

With everyone plugged into their smartphones, frantically tapping away until their time comes to recharge their device, you’d be forgiven for thinking that this is the era when handwriting is now a thing of a bygone era. Wrong. Writing is crucial for everyday scenarios, and don’t fall victim to shoddy handwriting because ‘you forgot how to write.’ Also, no woman wouldn’t want to receive a carefully written letter, like the good old days.

Walking a girl home is wonderfully sweet. Asking your girlfriend to check in every time she goes somewhere is not. Take a chill pill, Dad. So the next time you feel like asking her ‘send your location’ on WhatsApp, maybe think if your trust issues will only make her dislike you more. And with that in mind, appreciate that people are people, and enjoy their own space at times, so don’t smother her.

Give up your seat to a pregnant lady or elderly person. We know it’s tricky nowadays when offering a seat can get you a look that could kill, that’s not as bad as getting the same look when not offering a seat. Offer the seat anyway, gents – you’ll be remembered.

And whilst chivalry is a quality that will never die, a gentleman of today will always treat the people around him with equal respect – no matter where he is in the world. Being cultured enough to appreciate and admire all walks of life really goes a long way. And should someone show no level of respect to you, that’s their problem, so be the better man and show them how a gent should behave.

In the 21st century, it’s so easy to rely on ready meals and restaurants, but a gentleman always has a few tricks up his sleeve and a home cooked meal will do wonders for you when she comes over. And if you’re unfamiliar with navigating around the kitchen, it’s a quality worth perfecting.

Photo by Adam Fussell for Gentleman’s Journal

Whilst the 21st century now sees a whirr of trends and styles, if you’re desperately trying to keep pace with the latest seasonal updates, stop right now. The charm of being a gentleman in this century is staying a little reserved – investing in classic, muted pieces that, when worn with a little personality, will prevent you becoming a fashion chameleon with no real style narrative.

OK, so you’re a self-proclaimed gent in the year 2017, congratulations. But, you’re not a true gentleman unless you know important historical dates, people, politics and culture to allow yourself to live in the 21st century. This may sound easy, but you cannot build a better future for yourself and the people around you, unless you learn from the mistakes of the past.

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