Words: Jonathan Wells
You know the drill. Get up, take a shower, and then make the biggest cup of coffee you can get away with. Hell, you’d grab a bucket full of the stuff if it was socially acceptable. But it’s not — and we unfortunately just have to make do with thimbles of espresso and measly three-gulp cups of good ol’ joe. It’s a travesty. An almond-milk, two-shot, frappa-choca-cino travesty.
And that’s why we’ve started getting our caffeinated kicks elsewhere. True, we do still dabble with a morning cup at home (plunging and percolating with the best cafetieres in the world) but we’ve also discovered a fresh way to benefit from everyone’s favourite wonder-stimulant.
That’s right, from your kitchen cupboard to your bathroom cabinet, it’s high time you caffeinated your grooming products. From thickening shampoos to enlivening eye roll-ons, we’ve found a whole host of new bathroom essentials to reinvigorate you. Beats a cappuccino any day.
Caffeine in your shampoo can work thickening wonders
There comes a point in every man’s life when his hair lets him down. It could be that moment you catch the first glimmer of grey, but more likely it’s when you start thinning. And nobody wants to see a bald spot. Thankfully, as the caffeine in a mug perks up your personality, caffeine on your head will thicken up your once-luscious locks.
And before you think that it all sounds a little chemically, take a look at Mádara’s organic offering — a volume-boosting formula also pumped full of zinc and chanterelle mushroom extract for good measure. Percy Nobleman’s caffeinated wash, too, blends eucalyptus and caffeine while doubling as a body wash for extra reinvigoration. Or opt for AB Crew’s caffeine shampoo, formulated for fitness enthusiasts with a minty citrus scent that will wake you up post-workout.
Keep an eye out for caffeinated roll-ons
Let’s not beat around the bush: we know you’re not drinking coffee for the taste. Okay, there may be a small cadre of die-hard caffeinistas out there (probably in Shoreditch, we’d imagine), but most of us cling to our KeepCups every morning simply to stay awake. You’ll be glad to hear, then, that you can achieve the same effects without adding whipped cream on top.
An eye roll-on is the perfect pocket-sized solution to a late night. From Germaine de Capuccini, this anti-fatigue eye roll-on also helps to disguise the appearance of wrinkles. Heath has formulated a reliably organic offering; using Persian silk tree extract and caffeine to help reduce the appearance of dark circles and puffiness. And Clinique for Men’s roll-on will hydrate and soothe your tired, bleary eyes quicker than you can say ‘triple-strength Americano with a Cortado chaser’.
A caffeinated moisturiser will give you glow and go
Imagine the zingy, fresh feeling of that cooling eye roll-on across your entire face. It’s the equivalent of plunging your face into ice water, or plunging your straw into an iced coffee — but more discreet than both. Companies seem to have cottoned on to men’s need to moisturise, and some are even going above and beyond. Some have pleasant scents, others have SPF and many even have a kick of caffeine. And some have all three.
This bold red offering from Recipe for Men is filled with a light, non-oily hydrating cream designed specially for male skin. Fragranced with ginger and cinnamon, caffeine also reduces any facial puffiness. Similarly, Alpha-H’s Skin Perfecting Moisturiser does what it says on the tube; smoothing out lines and revitalising with New Zealand pine bark and antioxidant caffeine. Or, for a moisturising scrub, Kiehl’s Facial Fuel is renowned for a reason — blending menthol and caffeine for a bracing, bolstering start to your day.
Your shaving routine will run smoother with caffeine
And then we come to the frequently rough end of the grooming routine; shaving. We’ve spent many stubbly mornings testing out subscription shaving kits and the perfect aftershaves to soothe your skin, but few things will afford your face a more trouble-free trim than a caffeinated soap or balm.
This green-bottled beard soap from Men Rock is infused with Sicilian lime and caffeine to get those hairs standing straight on end — and prime to get pruned by your razor. Nuxe’s nourishing, hypoallergenic formula works against razor burn and shaving rash. And Nivea’s offering, although cheaper, is a thoroughly effective 6-in-1 post-shave balm, with caffeine-powered skin-strengthening properties.
Looking to shake up your grooming routine? Self-isolation is the perfect time to start experimenting with a moustache…
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