Words: Gentleman's Journal
Christmas wouldn’t be the same without a brilliant Christmas movie; whether it’s one that you recycle year after year or the hottest blockbuster to grace our screens that month. Whatever your choice, within the duration of that film there will undoubtedly be an array of hideously ugly Christmas jumpers. Every gentleman should know that it is a sin to be seen in a proper, Rudolf-themed Christmas jumper but instead should opt for a more subtle, easy-on-the-eye one – like a Fair Isle. So, what are the worst Christmas jumpers to ever grace our screens? And, what are the alternatives?
Bridget Jones' Diary
Not one, but two, of the most classic Christmas jumpers of all time are worn by the infamous Mr Darcy in Bridget Jones. Featuring Christmas favourites in the form of Rudolph and a 3D snowman, these presumably handknitted numbers are fantastic for a comic plot device – but probably won’t play so well in real life. Instead, opt for this traditional – yet subtle – jumper from Luca Faloni which is perfect for the Christmas season.
Modern Family
You might think bobbles, detachable ornaments and anything obnoxiously red or green – like this number sported by Cameron in Modern Family – is fun and quirkily festive but, honestly, it’s genuinely just not acceptable – particularly for a gentleman. Instead opt for something more classic and less bright, like this Barbour design.
The Santa Clause
Although this is what’s known as a ‘classic’ Christmas jumper complete with Nordic-inspired red detailing, reindeer and snowflakes, it is still a hard look to pull off, even for the modern, sophisticated gentleman. Instead of trying to replicate Tim Allen in The Santa Clause, go for something much more polished and sharp – like this one from Saint Laurent.
Sherlock
On the face of it Martin Freeman, in his role as John Watson in Sherlock, is getting everything right. Complementary colours, a design that isn’t too brash or on the nose, a distinct apres ski vibe – and yet it just doesn’t quite work. The knit is too chunky and fit just a little too large lending this jumper an almost childlike feel. Instead opt for this Palm Angels number, which offers the same colour and Alpine references, just in a more abstract and sophisticated way.
The Night Before
Getting your team together to don festive knits festooned with anthropomorphised Brussel sprouts for a Christmas Eve pint, a la Seth Rogen, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Anthony Mackie in The Night Before, might seem like a great idea at the time but, trust us, when the photographic evidence hits Instagram the next day you’re going to regret it. If you really must wear something with some wintertime whimsy may we suggest this Gant Fair Isle number.
Had just about enough of Christmas films? Here’s what else you should be watching on Netflix this month…
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