Etiquette -- 4 hours ago
Why your girlfriend is thinking about cheating on you
A fun fact for you, gentlemen. 90% of people who cheat believe they’re justified in doing so. Gone are the days where the cheater was vilified and the cheated on believed to be blameless: in a 21st-century relationship one person’s misdemeanour is symptomatic of the other’s downfall.
If you do suspect your girlfriend is thinking of playing away, there could be any number of reasons. But fear not, I’ve called in a dating expert to offer some advice on how to remedy the situation before it’s too late, and you find yourself listening in to her phone calls, following her to work and generally behaving in a rather indecorous manner.
Here are a few reasons why your girlfriend is thinking about cheating on you.
1. You’re not fulfilling her emotional needs
I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but women have feelings. And quite a lot of them at that. If you’re not meeting your other half’s bounty of emotional requirements, you’re not alone. But be warned, an emotionally deprived woman is more likely to seek fulfillment elsewhere. A friendly colleague, an old friend who understands her… There are plenty of other men out there who will be more than happy to look after her in the ways that you’re not. So you might want to address the issue. Fast.
Time to revisit that old copy of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus you keep under your pillow.
2. You’re not giving her enough attention and she feels underappreciated
This is possibly the easiest one to reconcile, gentlemen, so no excuses. If your girlfriend needs more attention than you’re prepared to give, you might need to rethink your relationship. If you’ve just been a bit distracted at work/by your friends recently then hop to it and book a long weekend of log fires and mountain air in the Alps. Things will soon be right as rain again. Until the next time you let work, or your friends, take over your life, that is.
3. They suspect you’re cheating on them too
She’s wrong, of course, because no gentleman ever cheats. But if you have acted in a way that’s led her to doubt your fidelity you may want to clear the air before she attempts to redress the power balance – and get her own back.
4. You cheated on her and now she’s plotting her revenge (probably with your best friend)
That was extremely ungentlemanly and I refuse to offer any advice at all. You’re on your own.
5. You’re not giving her what she wants in the bedroom
If you’re willing to admit this could be the case, you’re a true gentleman. Congratulations. The only thing you can do is open up a channel of communication between yourself and your girlfriend and ask her what you can do to better meet her needs. The conversation could be awkward at first, but if she’s worth it, it’s worth it. It really is that simple.
6. Your girlfriend is bored by everything, especially a long-term relationship
This could be down to any number of reasons, and who am I to guess. Believe it or not some women get as bored by monogamous relationships as their male counterparts.
“I think all people (including women) cheat because they are just not interested enough – they want to be, but they just aren’t,” suggested a friend.
Well that’s that then.
Before you despair that you’re days away from coming home to finding her with another man, though, fear not. Dating expert Jacqueline Burns, of Vida Consultancy, has some advice for you:
“Communication in relationships is key. If there are concerns that your partner is straying, don’t check their phone or become equally shady, open up a dialogue to get to the bottom of it. Taking the least accusatory approach, explain your feelings.”
That’s right gentlemen – now is not the time for a stiff upper lip.
“It is important to be honest, therefore simply saying ‘I appreciate it when we spend time together, it would be great to do more of this’, rather than questioning, ‘you have been distant and not spending enough time with me, why is this?” Jacqueline recommends. “Suspicion is a slippery slope, so trust your gut but also trust your partner, and give them a chance to feel they can be comfortable, open and honest with you.”
And with that, I wish you good luck gentlemen.
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