20 things you shouldn’t say to your mother

20 things you shouldn’t say to your mother

Words: Hugh Francis Anderson

Now, gentleman, when it comes to interaction with your mother, what not to say is something we inherently know. Every mother is different, and every son or daughter knows exactly what buttons to press to irritate, upset or anger her. Although you must always cherish and love her, we thought you should all be aware of a few things that all gentlemen must remember not to say. So, without further ado, here are the 20 things you should never say to your mother.

  1. My girlfriend’s pregnant (As a joke, or if you’re particularly young)
  2. Guess where I got a tattoo?
  3. I don’t want to go to uni because I want to find myself
  4. Chill the f**k out
  5. But I only snorted 2 lines
  6. I have to go to the GUM clinic now
  7. What do you actually do all day?
  8. You know Dad’s my favourite
  9. You’re looking really tired
  10. I know she used to be a prostitute, but I love her
  11. Here, I bought you a gym membership
  12. My mother-in-law is the best cook
  13. Have you thought about cleaning? The house is looking a little dirty
  14. Have you done my washing?
  15. Could you make me a sandwich and bring it to my room?
  16. Dad’s new girlfriend is way hotter than you
  17. Are you going through the menopause?
  18. Do you mind if I smoke in the house?
  19. You’re being so immature
  20. Have you put on weight?

Further reading