Introducing ‘The Naff Index: Summer 2021 Edition’

The more things change, the more they stay the same. In a year that has been, to put it mildly, slightly spicy — and where solid concepts like freedom, government, and never-having-to-see-your-health-secretary-snogging-someone have been shaken to their very core — it is comforting to learn that some things are immutable.

Naffness has not just survived since our last annual report — it has positively thrived. It is the Epsilon variant: the enduring strain from which no millennial is immune. And we’re just going to have to learn to live with it. You cannot shut down the borders against bad taste; Pfizer has not yet approved a James Corden vaccine.

Fortunately, the quants down in the Gentleman’s Journal labs have been tweaking their proprietary algorithm in preparation for a new peak this summer — and we’re thrilled to present their completely-scientific-and-definitely-not-arbitrary findings below. Here, in full, is the Gentleman’s Journal Summer 2021 Naff Index. Next slide please.

Apple Watch: Naff

• On-demand groceries
• Basement extensions
• Apple Watches
• At-home pizza ovens
• Champagne in airports

Travelling abroad: Naff

• Starting a podcast
• Going abroad
• Understanding cryptocurrencies
• Rushing to beat the Stamp Duty
• Dressing like Matt Hancock at a wedding
• Matt Hancock

QR Codes: Naff

• Best man’s speeches on A4 paper
• Vaccine papers on Instagram
• The return of QR codes
• Homemade sourdough
• Very thin sunglasses
• “It’s coming home”
• Balloon arches

Thin sunglasses: Naff

• Twitter opinions
• Ibiza
• NFTs
• Whatsapp groups
• Wedding lists
• Pub bookings
• Noisy Champagne opening

Trainer socks: Naff

• Wagyu burgers at a barbecue
• Trainer socks
• Lockdown puppies
• Fashionable inflatables
• That napkin thing people do at weddings
• ‘Fun’ waistcoats
• James Corden.

How are you planning to survive summer? We’ve whipped up the Gentleman’s Guide to Day Drinking…

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