The gentleman’s weekend challenge: reignite old-fashioned romance

Last August, Vanity Fair published an article titled ‘Tinder and the Dawn of the Dating Apocalypse’.

If you haven’t read it, here’s a very brief summary: Young people these days are incapable of talking to each other, and it means we’re all having a lot less fun.

The writer visited a number of Manhattan hotspots, to speak to 20-somethings on what should have been a riotous Friday night full of flirting and number-swapping. Instead, she found groups of single men and women sitting coo-ing over phones and matches, utterly oblivious to the other people they shared a room with.

Around about the same time as this was published, a young British man named Alex set himself a challenge – to find a date, offline, in a day.

We’ve all become so accustomed to mobile dating that we’ve forgotten how to speak to people, in real life. So much so that Alex’s video about it got half a million views and earned him the spot on a number of news shows. Talking to people in real life has become a novelty.

So gentlemen, this weekend we propose a challenge. Put your phones down. Let’s all agree now that this whole mobile dating thing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Yes, women may be a little shocked when you speak to them at a bar rather than swiping through Tinder, but with any luck it will be a good surprise – and you’ll find you haven’t lost all of your social skills through lack of human interaction.

If you’re single and want to help bring a bit of that old-fashioned romance back into the world, now’s your chance to go out and seize the moment. Dry January is over. Valentine’s Day is imminent. Let the games begin!

Your itinerary for the weekend. Also known as: a list of opportunities to speak to people that we’ve all forgotten exist.

Post work drinks. School’s out for the weekend. Take advantage of this joyful moment and ask that girl from finance you’ve been eyeing up for ages out for a drink. (If company policy allows it, of course. If not, skip a move.)

On the tube. Everyone I know is always saying: ‘I always see so many good looking people on the tube, but where are they in real life?’ I can only conclude that there’s something about dingy yellow lighting and being in close-quarters with complete strangers that makes us more attracted to people. So don’t just make eyes at that pretty girl sat opposite you, talk to her.

At the bar at midnight. The witching hour is upon you. This means anything goes. So stop drunkenly staring at your phone pretending to read an important work email and start talking to the person next to you.

On the dancefloor. A colleague of mine met her boyfriend of three years in a club on a Saturday night. He was so drunk when he gave her his number that he doesn’t remember doing it, to this day. Luckily she thought he was cute and texted him – so there you go. You can be drunk and forgetful and a girl still might be interested.

Down time. Time to feel hungover and watch TV.

In the gym. According to a recent study, 25% of people have sparked some form of relationship in the gym. Which leads me to believe that despite being hot, sweaty and clad in lycra, the gym is a good place for chirpsing. So man up, put the dumbbells down and go talk to that girl you’ve been checking out for months.

In the pub with the boys. All of my single male and female friends seem to live in the pub on a Saturday afternoon, yet all complain that they never meet anyone of the opposite sex in there. I suspect this is because half the crowd are watching the rugby and necking beers, while the other half are sat around the fire nursing hangovers and a large Merlot.

I urge you to cross the great divide, gentlemen. Step away from the sport for a minute and do something to help us all out of this romantic-less pit we’ve fallen into. Otherwise we’re all going to end up single and alone.

And I’ll pass on the message to the girls, too. We’re as responsible for making the first move as you are.

It is 2016 after all.

Photography by Adam Fussell // Styled by Holly Macnaghten

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