The case against wedding speeches

Do we really need to keep up this absurd, food-interrupting pantomime, asks Archie Manners

You don’t really enjoy speeches at Weddings, do you? Yes, I know that you applaud them, and congratulate the speechmakers as you pass them on your way out of the tent for that long-awaited fag. You’ll probably mention how hilarious they were in your thank you letter. But I bet you also perform a mime with your thumbs whilst scanning Track and Trace QR codes. Sometimes, you lie.

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