Be it for business or pleasure, a gentleman should be no stranger to jet-setting. But the more you fly, the higher the chances are that you will one day be faced with a malfunction, accident or crash.
Clearly, such events are incredibly few and far between, so there’s no need to panic prematurely. But knowing exactly what to do should you nosedive or tailspin will ensure that you remain calm and confident as you hurtle down the runway and off into the air – and it might just save your life.
There are several ways you can prepare for a crash before you even get to the airport, let alone board your plane. Begin by booking a seat in the rear of the aircraft – where you are statistically safer.
And, when choosing travel attire, don’t go for anything too flouncy or flamboyant – those designer flip-flops may have seemed like a good idea this morning but, when you’re clambering through the cabin over the backs of seats, you’ll rue the moment you overlooked a nice pair of sensible shoes.
Instead, wear natural fibres – as they are less flammable – and layer up in case a crash leaves you stranded in a remote location and you need to stay warm until help arrives.
If your flight has been delayed, and you’ve just had to squeeze past a couple of – ahem – larger passengers on the way to your seat, then you’re probably not in the mood to listen to the safety briefing.
But sit down, strap in and take off your headphones – for there is information about to be imparted that could save your life. Take particular notice of where the exits are, as this knowledge may be key if visibility is impaired upon a forced landing.
In the event of a crash, you will be told to assume the brace position. And, when this happens, do your best not to freeze up or act irrationally. Panic propagates panic – and you need to remain as calm as possible.
Firstly, check that your shoes are tied securely, your clothes are securely zipped or buttoned up and the gangway immediately next to your row is unobstructed. Next, use pillows or soft luggage to pad areas around your head or legs and only then adopt the brace position.
There has been much discussion surrounding the brace position. Some conspiracy theorists believe it was concocted by money-grabbing insurance companies as a way to break your neck swiftly upon impact. So, if you are among these overthinkers, or just fancy a change, try placing your feet flat on the floor, your hands one on top of each other on the headrest in front, cradling your forehead.
In the pandemonium following a crash, it is again imperative not to let panic or shellshock set in. Whether you have crashed on the ground and the wreckage is filling with smoke, or on water and there are fears of the cabin sinking, move swiftly and sensibly.
Leave all of your personal belongings – you don’t need your Bermuda shorts or that litre bottle of scotch you bought in Duty Free – even if you feel like a stiff drink. Instead, take your phone and wallet if they are at hand – as they will be useful for both communication and identification once you have cleared the wreckage.
If there is smoke in the cabin, stay close to the floor – or, if this is not an option, wrap something around your mouth and nose and move to the nearest exit. Do not push, jostle or get angry with fellow passengers – experts believe there to be a two-minute ‘Golden Period’ in which passengers can safely escape, and you don’t have time to get pushy.
Finally, after making it out of the cabin, aim to get 500 metres upwind from the wreckage in case of explosions, and listen to the cabin crew for further instructions.
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