Words: Joseph Bullmore
Silvio Berlusconi might just be the oiliest man alive. Yes, there’s the rictus grin like an Alfa Romeo salesman; the dubious slicked-back hairline in a dubious shade of chocolate; the rubberised apricot face scaffolded by botox; the grasping, greasing palms. But there’s something else there, too — a base slipperiness, an effortless slither. Like some fluid comic book shapeshifter disappearing from a prison cell through the keyhole — you simply can’t contain the man, or pin a charge to him. Every time you think he’s been flushed down the plug hole (a tax evasion charge here, an underage prostitute there), he shoots back up, more powerful than ever. He is irrepressible — a human oil spill. And now he’s back.
After a few years in the (relative) wilderness, Silvio Berlusconi (the cruise ship singer turned media billionaire turned four-time Italian premier) is now being hailed as a ‘kingmaker’ once more by the Italian press. His centre-right party, Forza Italia, may be floundering at just 7.5% in the polls. But with a rift widening between the two parties of the ruling coalition (which holds a wafer thin majority in parliament), Berlusconi’s MEP’s votes could now be the crucial factor in government business. Berlusconi, that old dog, holds some pretty handy cards.
What’s more, the 83-year-old is making manoeuvres in the splashy Italian tabloids, too — stepping out with a new 30-year-old girlfriend last week (she’s a doppelganger, bizarrely, for Lady Gaga) and showing that the old bull has not yet been put out to pasture. The king of Bunga Bunga has returned, in short. So it’s worth remembering how he got here — and the gaffes, bawdy remarks and offensive comments he’s made along the way.
1. “Oi, Obama!”
On a state visit to the UK in 2009, Berlusconi was posing for a photo with G20 leaders. The Queen was on the front row. Just after the shutter had fired, Berlusconi shouted out boisterously to Barack Obama — before being ticked off by the Queen, who said: “why does he have to shout?” It was described as a moment of international embarrassment in the Italian press, and Fabio Evangelisti, of the opposition Italy of Values party, said: “Our country does not deserve a Prime Minister who shouts out and earns the rebuke of the Queen.”
2. “I’m paler”
Another Obama-oriented outrage. This time, also in 2009, Berlusconi was asked why his response to the economic crash differed to that of the American President. “Because I’m paler,” laughed Berlusconi, in a comment that managed to be both nonsensical and offensive all at once. “It’s been so long since I went sunbathing,” he continued. When the media later kicked up a fuss, he said they lacked a sense of humour.
3. Marriage material
In January 2007, at an awards dinner, a then-married Berlusconi was heard confessing his love to a glamour model and former showgirl (you may notice a bit of a theme here).
“I’d go anywhere with you, even to a desert island,” Berlusconi told Mara Carfagna. “If I weren’t already married, I would marry you straight away.”
Berlusconi’s wife, Veronica Lario, was so angry that she wrote a front-page letter to La Repubblica newspaper that called for him to make a public apology. He did. And then made Mara Carfagna his equal opportunities minister.
4. Guardgate
In 2003, German MEP Martin Schulz accused Berlusconi of having links to the mafia (he wasn’t necessarily wrong, by the way — just a year later, Berlusconi’s Forza Italia cofounder was imprisoned for his relationship with Sicily’s Cosa Nostra). Berlusconi responded by likening Schulz to a ‘concentration camp guard’.
The Prime Minister said: “I know that in Italy there is a man producing a film on Nazi concentration camps. I shall put you forward for the role of Kapo [a guard chosen from among the prisoners]. You would be perfect.”
Berlusconi and Colonel Gadaffi on a state visit in 2009
5. ‘(Very) Questionable irony’
In 2006, Berlusconi invoked the wrath of the Chinese state (and plenty of other states, actually) with a particularly punchy claim. “Read the black book of Communism,” he told the press, “and you will discover that in the China of Mao, they did not eat children, but had them boiled to fertilise the fields.” Under fire, he later shrugged off the comment. “It was questionable irony,” he said. “This joke is questionable.”
6. Physical assets
On a glad-handing tour of the New York Stock Exchange, Berlusconi tried to convince Wall Street’s investment bankers to re-locate to Italy. He said: “Italy is now a great country to invest in.” (Fine.) “Today we have fewer communists and those who are still there deny having been one.” (Right…) “Another reason to invest in Italy is that we have beautiful secretaries — superb girls.” (Ah.)
Villa Certosa, in Sardinia — one of Berlusconi’s lavish party residences
7. Eightgate
More girls. This time 11, in fact. Though that proved too many for the lothario premier, who was heard humble-bragging in a widely circulated wire-tapped conversation in 2011. Berlusconi is heard to say that he had to fend off a line of 11 young women queuing up outside his door. Instead, he claims, he ended up: “doing only eight girls, because I couldn’t do more.”
8. Bunga Bunga
In 2010, Berlusconi was charged with soliciting prostitution from a minor and extortion. He was soon sentenced to seven years in prison and banned for life from public office — but sloped out of both charges with a ‘not guilty’ appeal in 2014. The case centered on a 17-year-old Moroccan belly dancer whose stage name was Ruby Rubacuori (translation: “Ruby Heartstealer”). Rubacuori claimed she was paid $10,000 by Berlusconi to attend parties at his mansion outside Milan, where she and up to 20 other girls would play a bizarre sexual game known as ‘Bunga Bunga’. (The term itself, by the way, originates from a lurid joke he was told by Colonel Gadaffi about gang rape.)
At the time, however, Berlusconi simply laughed off the stories — and added a dose of homophobia to boot. “As always, I work without interruption and if occasionally I happen to look a beautiful girl in the face, it’s better to like beautiful girls than to be gay,” he told press at a motorcycle industry show in Milan in 2010.
The comments were pure Berlusconi — offensive to many people in a very succinct space; drenched in sleaze and sex; accompanied by an oily grin; and shrugged off down the line with little comeuppance. These days, the former Prime Minister aims for a more grandfatherly tone — he’s grown up, he says; a calming presence in the house. Older, wiser. If the ‘kingmaker’ returns in September, it’ll be interesting to see how long he maintains that facade.
Bemused and confused by the corridors of power? Here are the best politics podcasts to listen to now.
Become a Gentleman’s Journal member. Find out more here.
Become a Gentleman’s Journal Member?
Like the Gentleman’s Journal? Why not join the Clubhouse, a special kind of private club where members receive offers and experiences from hand-picked, premium brands. You will also receive invites to exclusive events, the quarterly print magazine delivered directly to your door and your own membership card.
