10 signs she is not right for you
Words: Rose Macdonald-Buchanan
I am amazed that you have clicked on this article. Most men shy away from the idea of someone telling them that their woman is not the right one. Romantic encounters can last until death do you part but some only stretch to one night. You like her but don’t love her, don’t know her as well as you want to or just ring her when it suits you but are technically ‘together.’ We’ve heard it all. It’s a sad truth that sometimes, you must confront and be done with it all. Gulp. The thought of being alone is too much to bear. You are working late and live alone, but on weekends you have a play mate and at night, company. It is hard to admit that the girl you believe to be right for you is, in fact, not. However, that’s still provided you have realised all the above. You must separate the ones who should stay from the ones that must go and that’s why we are writing this article.
The tell tale signs are as follows:
You have to justify her to your friends.
Quite frankly, it makes me sad that I have to even tell you this. I can’t imagine the anxiety you feel when your friends doubt her or tease you. You feel like a lone soldier, explaining that actually she really is great and nice and lovely and fun. Mmm they don’t buy it, and I don’t even believe that deep down, you do either. It makes you feel insecure and uncomfortable. You will only come under more fire as the relationship continues, so our advice is get out whilst you still can – preferably alive.
She doesn’t like your friends and family.
You are most probably aware, or unaware, that they talk about how dreadful she is behind your back. She knows too. This creates tension and in defence she will put her hackles up, and do all she can to avoid your nearest and dearest. Not an ideal situation at all. I will just remind you that when push comes to shove, you should choose your friends and family above any girl you aren’t sure about. They have loved, supported and enjoyed you for much longer than she has and having been your backbone your whole life, they will continue to be – when she is long gone. I hate the phrase but ‘bros over hoes’ is the punch line here.
She gives you no independence.
Boring and tedious. Enough said… She controls your entire life. Who you see, what you do, where you are, what you say. Your life is your own, and not yet shared as you would wish, so escape the clutch of her vicious talons.
‘Jealousy is a disease, get well soon bitch.’
Remember that phrase you used to hear catty girls saying in the playing ground… Funnily enough, it’s true. Jealousy is an infectious, toxic, nasty thing that girls more commonly possess, so do not let it consume you too. You, sir, are better than that.
She needs you the entire time.
She couldn’t possibly nip out to get milk alone, nor accept that at work you are concentrating and busy, or let you go to a football match without disturbances. This can get really exhausting for a gentleman. Flattering, yes, but immature and irritating. Your poor fingers just weren’t built for 24 hour typing marathons.
Blackmail
This is genuinely psychotic. No woman who loves the man she is with will ever use emotional blackmail because it’s cruel. Fear, obligation and guilt should not exist in a happy and stable relationship. Even you know it’s a two way street. At this rate, you might see her mugshot on BBC one night for God knows what… Run.
‘My ex never did that to me. He was so much more fun than you.’
Alternatively, ‘he just made me feel like I was worthless, I need you, I love you, let’s elope tomorrow.’ Urrrrrr, sorry no. We have heard the violins in every way whether she wants your love, your pity, or your guilt, she may just get the boot. If she is going to whine at you, she really is not worth keeping, rather take her to a children’s creche. This is an area of emotional blackmail. Has she even moved on from her ex? Ex’s: no go subject. Gents, you are better than her ex anyway and she should know that.
Those snide comments she pretends she doesn’t mean
‘Whatever, I know you would rather be elsewhere. It’s not like you care anyway.’ Maybe you wouldn’t maybe you do care, and to keep reiterating or persuading her of this is not ok. Grow up and let’s talk about how you feel over dinner.
Belittling and criticising
Those remarks that put you down and make you feel lesser than her. In a relationship, you must support, flatter, constructively criticise and adore each other. Laugh and cry, share friends and experiences but when she is telling you that you are stupid, idiotic, dumb – you name it – that is not ok and your esteem will hit rock bottom. Unhealthy and downright inconsiderate, do you really see yourself carrying on? No, is the answer. I should also say that often these insults will come because she is insecure in herself.
No sex life
Relationships are emotional AND physical. Work the rest out gents.
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