Words: Harry Shukman
The Batman movies are thoroughly misleading for one important reason. It’s not the main character’s nocturnal habit of kneecapping petty crooks that stretches credulity — but the roles and responsibilities of his butler sidekick. In the recent trilogy, Alfred, played by Michael Caine, is seen performing the duties of chef, chauffeur, cleaner, nanny, therapist, life coach, executive assistant, travel agent, property developer, IT troubleshooter, private doctor, PR agent, international smuggler and criminal underworld expert. This elderly man does all of these highly-skilled tasks on his own, 24 hours a day, without rest. And they say Christopher Nolan’s superhero films were grittily authentic.
Alfred, Gotham’s great master of trades, was under-scrutinised by most audiences — except, perhaps, for those working in a small industry called estate management. This is a niche but growing profession servicing ultra high net worth individuals. They are the most important figures in the downstairs hierarchy, and take ultimate responsibility for the running of a large multi-property family.
Let’s say you’re a nought-point-nought-one percenter. You need roughly one housekeeper for every 1,500 square feet of mansion that you own. If you want 24-hour service, then you need three housekeepers working in shifts. Once you add up all the other personal trainers, make-up stylists, gardeners, drivers, and cooks — again multiplying everything by three if you want round-the-clock help — then you could quickly find yourself with an army of 20 household employees. And that could be just for your pad in Beverly Hills. You might also have a beach house on St Barts, a ski lodge in Aspen, a townhouse in Manhattan and a yacht the size of a Nimitz-class aircraft carrier. As you and your retinue move between each residence, you need someone to make sure there is gold-leaf soap in every bathroom, that your cigar humidor is humming along at 67 percent, and that your Nebuchadnezzars of Armand de Brignac Rose are chilled to 9C exactly.
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