Words: Jonathan Wells
Before we jump into the weird and wonderful world of the pick up line – be warned: it’s more weird than wonderful – it’s important to note that this article is called ‘How to perfect your pick up lines’.
That’s ‘lines’ plural. Despite what many men think, there is no single perfect pick up line. There is no magical combination of words that can be whispered whilst wooing that will guarantee success.
If there were, we’d have found them by now.
Instead, the art of flattery and flirtation requires dedication, sincere thought, and a hell of a lot of trial and error. You’re going to raise eyebrows rather than raise hell in the early stages of seduction, so prepare for walk-offs, being laughed at or, if you’re really doing it wrong, a drink in the face.
But, over time, your lines will fall into place, and you’ll be able to gauge which pick-up to pull out in times of trouble. So cast your eyes over these tips and tricks below, and refine your wooing ways.
It’s one of the most vanilla lines you could ever think up, but the sad truth is that some girls respond best to the simplest approach. “Hello, my name is…” or “I just really wanted to talk to you” may have you cringing with mediocrity, but the straight-up and direct nature of getting down to the point displays an honesty many women find very appealing.
The go-to when you think of pick up lines, the flattery route is fraught with difficulties. Take it too physical and you’ll come off lecherous. Too personal and you’ll freak her out.
Instead, pitch it a little differently. Rather than complimenting her person – although mentioning her smile will never, ever go amiss – try flattering her choice of drink, her clothes or the book she’s reading. Be smart, and let her know that you’re not approaching her as a body, but as a person.
If you’ve got the confidence to pull this off, it’s a brilliant way in. Crowded bars or buses throw people together in close surroundings, and if you’re fumbling with a bag or a scarf, just ask her to hold onto it for a second for you.
Either that, or tell her she’s taking up too much room with a smile and faux judgement. But remember, if you can’t pitch playful correctly, you’ll come across like a stern schoolteacher – and only some women are into that…
The polar opposite to the above, whilst some women will appreciate a bombastic and brave man coming straight in with a brash comment or question, others will respond more positively to the shy and subtle approach.
Don’t hide your nerves, act like it actually matters to you how well this goes and just try to look human rather than coming off like a predatory pick-up machine. The results will speak for themselves.
Shifting it up a gear again from cheeky, the crazy approach will only work if you commit. If you thought the bashful approach even might be for you, don’t even bother reading this.
From an absurdist “would you rather” question to telling her she looks like a celebrity, or even someone less flattering, unexpected, surprising and memorable actions and lines will go a long way. Even if she seems put off at the time, she’ll likely be thinking of your later, so stand out, be funny, flattering – and crazy.
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