How to be a man who gets what he wants

Bob Dylan once said ‘a man is a success if he gets up in the morning, gets to bed at night, and in between does what he wants to do’. And that’s all well and good; doing what you want – but what about getting what you want?

For every man who is the top of the pile, gets everything he could ever covet and is successful in both his professional and personal lives, there are hundreds who fall short of the mark. We all want that level of happiness and control over our existences but, for the majority of men, these aspirations remain just that, and never come to fruition. No more, gents. You deserve to win in life and get what you want. So here’s how.

From working to dating, the key to success is confidence. Your boss will see your self-assurance as competence, and prospective partners may see something in your personality even more attractive than how you look. So put your best foot forward, believe in yourself and you’ll be more likely to sail into the upper echelons of life.

Do this by reminding yourself of your successes and achievements to bolster self-confidence, remembering that there’s no such thing as sheer perfection – in either you or others – and by thinking positively and optimistically in your outlook on life. Similarly, just be yourself, albeit a little exaggerated so you stand out in the minds of others, and face any fears, negative thoughts or doubts you may have by diving straight into them.

First impressions, although not as important as we have been led to believe, still hold power. It only takes us around 15 seconds to decide if we like someone romantically, and it doesn’t take much longer in the workplace to gauge competency. A major part of this – other than the way you dress – is your posture. So, before you revamp your wardrobe, make sure the frame you’re hanging your threads on is up to scratch.

Raise your head, stand tall and pull your shoulders back. A front-facing chest will give you the look of an Alpha male – and they always get what they want. Shoulders down, back un-hunched and toes facing out, exude confidence using your stance, walk long and tall and refrain from bowing your head and looking to the floor. It’s all about eye contact, gents.

You know the type of voice we all want to have – sonorous, boomy and authoritative. The sort of voice that can charm women and intimidate co-workers. But how do you develop a deep, masculine, strong voice such as this? That’s where it gets a little harder.

Try not to force your voice down a couple of octaves if that isn’t where it wants to go – as this can damage your throat and vocal cords. Instead, use a deeper voice when you need to. JFK famously had a high-pitched voice, which he used in everyday life. But, when it came to addressing the nation, he lowered his voice artificially, speaking low and loud for maximum effect.

If you’re not getting what you want, it’s likely that you’re not trying hard enough. Of course, sometimes the fates simply won’t align, and you’ll be left a victim of chance. But, as fortune favours the brave, you’ll also find that your luck will soar once you start applying yourself. Be this to a relationship or a particularly tricky work project, research and hard work is a surefire way to get ahead in the game.

That means getting enough sleep, not using coffee as a crutch and keeping yourself on a proactive course. Regular exercise and eating healthily can help in this endeavour. Remember, improving your work ethic isn’t just about changes you make during work hours – rather it’s about changes you make in wider life. Feel more invigorated and invested in success in all facets of your life, and you’ll be more likely to succeed. And that’s what getting what you want is all about…

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