Words: Violet
If you haven’t seen James Franco and Seth Rogen’s “Bound 3” video, stop reading this and watch it right now – preferably in split screen with Kanye West’s vomit-inducing, inexorable “Bound 2”. I’ll wait.
Isn’t it good!? Aren’t they excellent!? Yes it is, and yes they are. Starting in the Judd Apatow-produced cult comedy series Freaks and Geeks in 1999, through hit stoner-comedy Pineapple Express (which somehow managed to be simultaneously incredibly sweet, jolly exciting and – vitally – very very funny), and the underrated, utterly bonkers This is the End, when Franco and Rogen team up, the result is always excellent. Like Tango and Cash, Merry and Pippin, Cameron and Clegg, Riggs and Murtaugh, Franco and Rogen are one of the great “bromances”. But what is it about their relationship that makes it stand out as the pinnacle of its type, the golden exemplar of man-on-man friend love. What is it, say, that makes their friendship better than Paul Rudd and Jason Segel or Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill?
The answer is very simple. Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill are both excellent whether they’re with each other or not. Ditto Jason Segel and Paul Rudd. Their palling-up is what is commonly termed a “cheeky bonus”. Seth Rogen, similarly, is always great value… Franco however – and I say this with full respect for the fact that he’s an amazing actor and much, much funnier and more talented than I will ever be – is utterly insufferable. Don’t believe me? This is the opening of a poem he wrote for Obama:
Asheville, North Carolina, is the birthplace of Thomas, Wolfe and the sometime residence of F. Scott Fitzgerald, When he visited Zelda at her institution;, He stayed at the Grove Park Inn, a grand stone edifice.
On the phone once, Cormac McCarthy lamented, The two added wings and the spa, and marveled, At the original structure, They pulled the stones?, From the mountains and brought them down on mules. (The italics are Franco’s. Obviously.)
The poem goes on for roughly another thousand verses that includes such gems as (spread out over two verses in true wanky style)
“When Obama entered, The crowd converged. Finally, I got to shake his hand,, He knew me from Spider-Man.”
and the definitely not showing-off:, “(Frank suggested I examine Marvell’s semi-inauguration poem for Cromwell)”
Anyone who likes Franco’s poem should be put in the illustrious category of “People You Shouldn’t Trust’ along with anyone who thinks Pippa is hotter than Kate and anyone who doesn’t like the original Pirates of the Caribbean.
So why, if Franco can be such a pseudo-intellectual bell-end, are Rogen and Franco the greatest bromance of our generation? Because their friendship, like all the best friendships, is an improving one. When Rogen’s there (or, it must be admitted, utterly wrecking my argument, a few other actors), Franco is at his best – brutally mocking his own pretentiousness in This is the End, or lampooning intense arrogance and self-belief in Bound 3. Clearly they are great pals – or they wouldn’t have been starring in films and making shorts together for the past fifteen years – and consequently, clearly when he’s around Rogen, Franco isn’t such a penis. And that’s a beautiful thing.
By Duncan Morrison
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