Words: Zak Maoui
Kadiff Kirwan is taking a much deserved, albeit short, break when we catch up. "I've escaped the UK and I'm getting some down time in Barcelona," the 35-year-old actor tells me via Zoom from his Airbnb apartment in the Catalonian city. It's been a busy year for Kirwan, who has just wrapped promo for season four of Apple TV+'s Slow Horses, alongside Gary Oldman and Kristen Scott Thomas. "We shoot two seasons back to back, and so we were at the Emmys for season three recently, and then season four came out on TV so we had to promote that. As soon as we wrapped I was straight to the airport."
Slow Horses sees Kirwan assume the role of Marcus Longridge, a fan favourite, who along with Oldman is part of a team of British intelligence agents who serve in a department of MI5, called Slough House. The TV show is one of the better productions that Apple TV+ has put out in recent years, and currently has a coveted rating of 98 per cent on Rotten Tomatoes, while it did indeed scoop an Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing For A Drama Series this year. Alongside that, Kirwan spent the summer on stage in The National Theatre's The Hot Wing King, in which he plays Cordell in the comedy about family, Black Masculinity and sexuality, something which he says was very close to home.
Kirwan, who has been a working actor for over ten years and has a string of British television roles under his belt, almost didn't step foot in front of a camera. He was born in Montserrat, "a tiny little island", which at most had about 14,000 people on the island when he lived there. "I was there until I was 6 years old and then the volcano that was dormant erupted," he says. "I was airlifted out of school and taken to the north side of the island and we could see lava pouring down the side of the volcano. The next day we went back to school, which was covered in ash and soot."
Before long, his late parents decided to relocate to Antigua, before eventually deciding to move further afield to Britain. "The volcano, which is something quite monstrous, turned into a blessing," he explains. "If I had stayed in Montserrat I certainly wouldn’t be an actor. I wouldn't have the access to the art and expression I’ve had in my life so far. I had a knack for numbers, so an accountancy job would have probably been my route. Acting isn't really a thing there."
A desire to become an actor went secretly in tangent with something else that Kirwan was hiding: his sexuality. "Montserrat isn’t open to queer life. I don’t remember meeting a single queer person," he says. "I was raised to be extremely religious, as an adventist, which is a domination of Christinaity. We would wake up at 5am before school for an hour of bible study and then we’d go to an Adventist school. It was quite heavy. As beautiful as the religion is, and as full of love and joy as it is, it also ostracised queerness and otherness."
Moving to Preston, Lancashire, helped him on his journey. "I remember seeing Jon [Lee] in S Club 7 and being like oh I think he’s gay. And suddenly seeing him with fans made me realise it was quite dope being queer. Moving to the UK and being exposed to other people living the way they lived gave me a bit more bravery." Still, Kirwan struggled. "I acted out a little in school, but looking back now I know it was because I was stifled by my family life. And I recognise now that was from love, because your family never want you to stand out for the wrong reasons, but I do feel like I had a bit of a choker on me."
Acting and his queer awakening went hand-in-hand. "When I was in year nine I had a drama teacher who just hounded me all the time as she wanted me to do GCSE drama as she thought it was not only a great place to express myself, but also find other colours," he says emotionally. "Pamela Hayward Connor. She’s been to see pretty much everything I’ve done. She changed my life. Without her I think my life would be a little different, a lot more quiet. I knew I was queer, but I couldn’t say anything. I took up drama, but sort of in secret. I was doing the school production of Bugsy Malone, but I was also in the basketball team. So I didn’t tell anyone and the opening night, as I went on stage, I looked at the back of the auditorium and all my friends were there cheering. That moment made me realise this was the thing I wanted to do."
Kirwan went on to study at the Central School of Speech and Drama in North London. "When I was at drama school my dad thought I was in university for accounting. My mum knew I was studying drama, but not him." His coming out came shortly after, and, like for most queer millennials, it stands as a momentous occasion in his life. "I always thought that telling the people I loved that I was gay would result in me losing them," he says, explaining that in the end his brother nonchalantly told them, which he is grateful for. "But I didn’t realise that’s not the truth. It was a big transition, but we got there. Both of my parents passed away knowing exactly who I am and they embraced that."
Since, Kirwan has fully embraces both his sexuality and his career. He has starred in ITV's Timewasters and The Stranger, as well as on stage alongside Cynthia Erivo in Sister Act, and Michaela Cole in Home. That led to him securing a role as Aaron in BAFTA award winning comedy series Chewing Gum. "Chewing Gum is the benchmark of everything for me. It was so ahead of its time. Bold and honest and funny. Michaela and I met two years before it came out at the National in a play called Home, and she asked me if I wanted to audition for it. I had four auditions for it, she put me through the ringer. I was up for two characters, but thankfully I got the gig."
There was a much lauded role in Fleabag too. In it he plays the queer hairdresser Anthony. "Fleabag came when I was doing Timewasters, and Phoebe Waller-Bridge and I were repped by the same people and she asked me if I wanted to be in a small scene. It’s mad how that scene is now a thing. 'Hair IS everything' Anthony is part of the pop culture lexicon."
It's been an extremely busy time for Kirwan. For as long as he remembers he's never not worked, landing highly respected roles straight out of drama school. With a little break now, he's thinking about trying something different. "I'm writing my own comedy drama and I’m under commission currently with BBC Studios for a show called Plan B," he says. "It’s a queer take on a group of friends navigating parenting, but not in the traditional sense of parenting. It’s about queerness and identity. And it focuses on the idea that just because one can become a parent, should they. It’s a story for our generation and it’s born out of an experience I had."
Now in his mid thirties, Kirwan is aware that his own experience of queer life is rarely seen in television. "There’s not at all enough queer representation in the UK," he says, defiantly. "Especially not black queer. We’re always serving the purpose of someone else as the comedic relief, or you’re on the periphery. The human experience isn’t the same for everyone, and queerness is natural. Look at nature, all the dogs and cats are gay. Everyone is queer. And it needs to be seen and celebrated."
It's a fair claim to make. We agree that of the intentionally introspective queer television programmes in the mainstream media, we can only name a handful. "There are 45,000 detective dramas, and one or two queer ones. You've got It’s A Sin, Queer as Folk, and Years and Years, the last to an extent. Something we should do in the UK that hasn’t been done would be a version of Looking, the HBO show in America that chronicles the experience of people our age, 26-45, as queer people. Life can go any which way and to have a show that chronicles the existing day to day of that, the queer friendships people living their lives. I think we default to the American version in the UK, but I’d love to be involved with something like that. I’m gagging for a version of that. As beautiful as Heartstopper is, and I’m so happy it exists, there is a generation of people that don’t have the opportunity of that representation on TV. I love the show, but I can’t dive into it because I didn't have the experience of being a young queer kid like so many do today. I didn’t have the opportunity to be who I am then."
"That’s the dream role now, I want to do something really vivid and rainbow, and then flip it and do something really dark, like a super heterosexual relationship drama. I really just want to get under the skin of people"
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