These 3 tips will help you last longer in bed

Lasting longer during sex isn’t just about stamina. It’s also about building confidence, enjoying the moment and creating deeper intimacy with your partner; when you last longer, you give yourself time to fully savour the experience, focus on their pleasure and connect on a more profound level, leading to more meaningful and satisfying intimacy for both.

With the right tools, you can feel more in control about this, and the following three tips will help you unlock a new level of confidence and enjoyment, while also teaching you how to stay present, relaxed and in tune with your body.

If you’re entering the bedroom feeling anxious or overwhelmed by performance anxiety, it’s time to pause. Fear and stress can cause your body to react in ways that make it harder to stay in control, and rushing into sex when you’re consumed by this will only make the problem worse.

Instead, ask yourself:

• Am I feeling calm and ready to connect?
• Do I feel safe and relaxed with my partner?

When you approach sex as a shared experience, rather than something you have to ‘perform’ perfectly, you’ll find it easier to relax and take your time. Focus on creating an environment where you feel steady, at-ease and free from judgement. Intimacy isn’t a competition; it’s a moment to connect.

Your breath is your greatest ally when it comes to lasting longer. Nervous energy and shallow breathing can speed up arousal and make it difficult to stay present. Instead, focus on deep, intentional breaths to calm your mind and ground your body.

Try this before and during sex:

1. Inhale deeply through your nose, allowing your belly to expand
2. Exhale slowly through your mouth, with a slight sigh to let everything go
3. Let your breath guide you into the moment, calming your nervous system

This practice helps you slow down and spread your arousal throughout your entire body, instead of letting it build up in one place. It also keeps you focused on the experience rather than rush you to the finish line.

Pro tip: don’t wait until the last moment to start focusing on your breath. Make it a habit from the very beginning of intimacy to stay in control and fully enjoy the experience.

Silence in the bedroom can create distance, overthinking and self-doubt. Many men have been conditioned to stay quiet during sex, but this can pull you out of the moment and make it harder to stay in control.

Instead, try expressing yourself vocally during sex. A simple exhale with sound keeps you grounded in your body and helps you release tension. As a result, this allows your sexual energy to flow rather than build up, giving you better hold over your stamina.

Vocalising also creates a deeper sense of connection with your partner, showing them that you’re fully present and enjoying the moment.

Lasting longer in the bedroom is something you can absolutely achieve with the right tools and mindset. By letting go of fear, focusing on your breath and using sound, you’ll not only improve your stamina and feel more confident and in control, but you’ll also create a new approach to intimacy – one that’s more meaningful and enjoyable for all involved.

Remember, intimacy isn’t about perfection – it’s about connection, exploration and shared pleasure.

• If you’re really struggling and looking for direct coaching to help you overcome premature ejaculation, you can book a free call with me at this link, or for ongoing tips and free advice, check out my YouTube channel here

Want more sex advice? We examine why performance anxiety is so common right now…

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