You aren’t a real old-school gentleman until…
Words: Hamish Roy
1. You have had a suit made at a Savile Row tailor that counts kings, generals and Sir Winston Churchill as previous customers
The glittering plate-glass fronts of the high fashion boutiques are pleasing to the eye, but they pale in comparison to the wood-panelled, leather-clad interiors of a good Savile Row tailor. Remember: “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society”. So says Mark Twain – and quite right he was too: who thinks of the naked rambler these days? When it comes to dressing, the old ways are the best, no question about it – other than whether Sir dresses to the right or the left.
2. You have read appropriate guides to gentlemanly behaviour
(Painting: William Hogarth / Sir John Soane’s Museum)
Reading is a prerequisite to being a gentleman. One would hope that a gentleman reads for pleasure; if not, he should at least read for instruction. Even a gentleman’s mind is a blank slate at birth – he is a magpie, he knows that all knowledge is borrowed, carried off one glittering piece at a time. For a guide on how to conduct himself, the old-school gentleman shuns the pitifully dry manuals of etiquette in favour of the titillating classics of the Restoration period: George Etherage’s The Man of Mode or William Hogarth’s A Rake’s Progress are an excellent starting point. For a young rake-in-the-making, do as the infamous rake-fathers do: indulge heavily in wines, gambling and a good deal of wenching – amassing impressive debts all the while. Draw your sword and parry with any rogue who dares bring an end to your unbridled lust-tour.
3. You have started your ‘little black book’
(Photograph: Everett Collection)
‘A gentleman never tells’. Quite right. But no pithy statements were ever made about writing these things down. Pour your dark heart in to a leather-bound journal – a must for reflecting on ‘appointments’, exercising your wit and scribbling rude ditties.
4. You have had a liaison, most likely hushed up with a little ‘tip’
(Picture: Mary Evans Picture Gallery)
The first rule regarding liaisons is…
One does not talk about one’s liaisons.
5. You have visited Africa, India or similar ex-colonial hunting grounds
For the ultimate blast from the past, up sticks with great uncle Archibald’s gun collection and embark on an extended hunting trip. Blast away at anything that moves (but do watch out for the locals). The closer the animal to extinction, the better – place offensively large bets on who can bag the rarest beast of all.
6. You have lunched in every Ritz-Carlton in Europe
(Photograph: BBC)
Ideally, a gentleman should aspire to have lunched in every European capital by the end of his life; for now, every European Ritz will do. One can wax lyrical about the pleasures of the road, of the perspective gained, of discovering the illusive thread that binds all men… but a true gentleman knows that travel is really an opportunity to broaden the hunt for the finest luncheon around. Always remember Ralph Waldo Emerson’s dictum: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us”. Ensure that it’s always the best.
7. Have sat for a portrait
(Painting: National Portrait Gallery)
A man might have all the money in the world, but you couldn’t put nearly as much stock in the wealth of his character as you could with a man who had a portrait of himself hanging in the hall. Usually an excellent indicator of lineage and fine breeding, the portrait is the snobbishly artistic and reluctantly-related sibling of the selfie.
8. You own a monogrammed cigarette case
(Photograph: Eon Productions)
Louche, indulgent and once thought to be healthy, smoking used to be a more sophisticated affair. And no wonder – Dorian Gray didn’t cower in doorways, papers and a filter clutched tight, watching the sad seepage of tobacco in the wind. When it comes to a case, it’s all in the proffer and the slow tap of a cigarette upon the lid – perfect this, and you’ll leave your admirers positively gasping for more.
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