This is what to do to become the ultimate godfather

We’re not talking Brando, but it’s a job that can be as daunting as heading up a crime family. After watching the intense stress and worry a pregnancy can bring to some of your closest friends, being asked to be a godparent can feel like them sucking you into the whole whirlwind, to wallow in the late nights and constant self-questioning together. But don’t refuse – being a godfather is just like being a dad, but with diminished responsibility. It’s like being a cool uncle, just with the chance to say no.

But, even though it’s a fun role, taking on the position is not something you should undertake lightly. Yes, the novelty will be there during the early years – borrowing the baby to impress potential suitors and showering it with gifts, gadgets and ice-creams aplenty – but this is a role for life. Once the kid grows up and is no longer fun and new, you can’t let contact slide. If their 18th rolls around and you’ve just got your PA to send a generic card with a crinkled tenner stuffed inside, then you’ve failed in your duties.

Being designated a godparent slot is an honour – a mark to which you must step up. Children hold their most esteemed godfathers in something of a godly light: it is a role that carries onus and influence – the presents you give and the wisdom you impart can play a major part in shaping the interests of your padawan’s path. It’s a win-win, if done correctly, so here are the key rules to ensure you fulfil your role with gusto…

This is probably the big one. Birthdays and Christmas are your times to shine – annual events carved out in the calendar during which time you can buy the best presents and drop in to make a good impression. But forget, and the positive pendulum will swing wildly in the other direction. If Father Christmas took a sabbatical, all hell would break loose, so follow his lead and jot down the relevant dates in your diary. (You may also want to take note of occasions such as sports day or various other sporting events.) And when it comes to the presents…

Unlike the parents, you are in the special position to give left-field gifts; things that may drive the parents mad, but show your allegiances to your godchild. A big selection of Nerfs is a great starter, in our opinion.

When they get a touch older, either give a decent present on every milestone (including graduation), or, as is extremely popular nowadays, give something of thoughtful value very early on that can be enjoyed on their 18th birthday – for example, wine, Port or some unique memorabilia.

Remember, tradition dictates that a child has three godparents – consider yourself to be in direct competition with them to the top spot on the podium.

Godchildren aren’t collector’s items. Far better to have one who you channel all your efforts into than acquire a small army that will have forgotten your name by the time they all hit their teens.

Before accepting the responsibility, ask yourself if you have the time to fulfil the role to the best of your abilities. If not, kindly decline – there will be many other people waiting in the wings, ready to make mud pies and create chaos in living rooms.

As a godparent, you are in the gratifying position of being a grown-up role model and influence to your youngling. Treat them like a friend, like an equal – and leave the nagging and judging to the parents. Adam Sandler’s go in Big Daddy is immature, witty and has a sense of abandon that many kids want to see. “You give the kid options instead of orders, you let him make the right decision,” is the philosophy he takes. (Of course, a more serious edge will be needed later down the line.)

Yes, once your godchild reaches 18 and is left to fend for themself, you aren’t expected to maintain the lavish gift-giving, but you are required to stay in touch and stay interested in their life – a path that, hopefully, you have played a hand in.

Need wider coaching? Here’s our A–Z of being a modern-day gent…