A gentleman’s guide to fitting in at auction

You don’t really want it. You sure as hell don’t need it. But you’re transfixed, caught in the moment as the auctioneer’s bouncy voice grows faster and his arm flicks from one side of the room to the other. You have to have it. The more you bid, the more sure you become.

At auction, when you see something you really want, all sense and reason drains from your being. ‘The knack is knowing when to pick your fights, and to recognise if you’re bidding on a legitimate lot,’ advises Henry Wyndham, Chairman of Sotheby’s Europe and one of the most experienced auctioneers working in the art market today. ‘Auction is a thrill, but it’s also a test of will power and research.’

One may go in hoping to secure a rare Roman coin for a collection, only to be swept up in the excitement of the occasion and consequently leave as the proud new owner of a pair of Joseph Manton duelling pistols. In fact, there are rumours of a man, a highly-respected numismatist, who very nearly found himself signing divorce papers after 30 happy years of marriage because he did the very same thing.

For the uninitiated, a few simple guidelines will help you on your merry way.

‘If a sale seems too good to be true, then it probably is,’ says Wyndham. ‘The first thing I always tell newcomers is to seek advice from the experts on-hand. They will quickly determine whether your interest in a particular lot is worth pursuing or not. There’s a thin line between a great sale and a sale that costs you greatly.’

It wasn’t all that long ago when auction was merely a byword for second-hand, but the scene has grown exponentially and today, whether looking for a watch, a painting, furniture or rare memorabilia, there are few finer places to find what you’re after. But you may have to work for it. ‘If you see something you really love,’ Wyndham continues, ‘and you’ve been advised it’s in good condition, prepare to pay over the estimate – you won’t be the only person to have a vested curiosity.’

The next step is the bidding room. You know that surge of adrenaline as you click ‘submit bid’ on eBay as the seconds flash red? Well, times that by 10, add a healthy scoop of anxiety and throw in an overwhelming lack of self-control, and you get a rough idea of what it’s like to be a newcomer at auction. The bidding buzz is an addictive drug. Suddenly you’re torn between not wanting to scratch your nose in case you offer £250,000 for a Rembrandt you don’t have space for – let alone the money – and having to refrain from jumping into lots that are simply setting the inquisitive part of your brain on fire.

‘It goes without saying that drinking and bidding don’t go hand-in-hand,’ Wyndham adds. ‘It’s always good to respect the occasion – move in and out of the room in between lots, phone on silent, and keep noise down once the bidding starts. But otherwise people are generally surprised at how relaxed and welcoming the auction houses are.’

Illustration: Luna Medina

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