This is why confident men are more attractive

When Gok Wan sashayed on to TV screens in 2006 telling a nation of historically demure Brits that, really, ‘It’s all about the confidence!’, chances are you weren’t paying much attention. How To Look Good Naked was, after all, not exactly aimed at young Millennial men.

But perhaps that was a mistake. Gok has a point with his signature catchphrase; confidence really can make you instantly more attractive – no expensive clothes or grooming products necessary. Read on to find out why (and, if you need a few tips on becoming more charismatic, we’ve got just what you need here).

Think about it. Knowing how to handle tense scenarios on the spur of the moment requires confidence and a belief that you’re strong enough to deal with whatever the world throws at you. Showing that you can conquer a problem with quick thinking also suggests intelligence and an ability to resolve difficult situations like a gentleman. Practical, real-world skills like these will always be attractive.

Studies have shown that confident people are, overall, also more positive people. One of the best ways to show your confidence is, of course, with a smile (but dish them out appropriately – you don’t want to come off as creepy). And since our daily lives continuously throw us negative qualms, showing positivity and optimism, even during the darkest of moments, is certainly an attractive quality. Remember, there are a lot more positive than negative things in life so keep that chin up.

Having the ability to orchestrate a team with different personalities, ideas and strengths takes great confidence – but it’s also one of the key traits needed for success in life and business. If you’re stuck between bickering team members, have the confidence and initiative to take control, create order and get things back on track. Of course, no one likes a dictator, so having the charm and charisma to also get along with your team and smooth over difficult periods comes as part of the confidence package.

People have a sense for suspicious individuals who, in general, don’t stand their ground or rarely offer their opinions. Confident people, on the other hand, tend to have close friends and plenty of acquaintances. Why? Because confident people tend to display the type of extrovert qualities that make them feel comfortable interacting with other people, sharing jokes and planning social events, making them generally more interesting to be with. If it doesn’t come naturally to you, don’t worry – practice makes perfect and, before you know it, you’ll be the life and soul of the party.

We’re not suggesting you go overboard and become Mr Vain, but a true marker of confidence is being comfortable in your own skin. This isn’t about being the best looking man in the room – it’s about being happy with who you are as a person. Confident men stand upright and carry themselves in a way that suggests they are at ease in their surroundings; making plenty of eye contact and displaying welcoming body language. Whether it’s in an interview setting, a first date or meeting the family, your confidence will help those around you relax and make the entire occasion go more smoothly.

Your boss hired you because, as well as your qualifications, you showed confidence at interview. Become too complacent, however, and the tables may turn, leaving the more genial guy next to you to snap up the promotion you thought was yours. If you’re serious about your career, and the social benefits that come with climbing the ladder, stop twiddling your thumbs, waiting for your boss to give you a gold sticker and start creating reasons why you should get that promotion. Hiding away in the office doing good, isn’t good enough.

Some of the world’s richest and most famous business owners really did start from nothing. But what did they have that many others didn’t? The confidence to abandon a life of working for someone else. They were optimists, with courage of their convictions, the leadership skills to build trust with peers and investors, and above all the guts and confidence to start their own business.

There’s a very fine line between confidence and arrogance and, while it may be hard to know when you’ve swayed either way, it’s important to find the balance. Confident men are more observant and considerate than arrogant men (who tend to walk over others, thinking they’re charming when, in fact, they’re just irritating). Confidence sits alongside elegance. You stand up for your views but you never impose them. You debate but you never argue. You have respect for other people.

How to date in your late twenties…

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