Can’t get past the first date? Here’s why

Dating is hard, expensive and can sometimes end up being a total waste of time. So once all of your hard work swiping right has paid off and you’ve finally secured yourself a first date, it’s essential that you don’t screw it up royally after the first hurdle. And I’ll admit it, women can be fickle (sometimes) but most of the time, you’re more than likely doing something wrong:

This might seem pretty old-school but trust me, paying for the first date is an extremely important part of the process. A girl likes to be treated, and she also likes to know that you’re a chivalrous gentleman who puts others before himself and who still treats women in the same way as his grandfather would have done all those years ago. A side note: don’t moan about prices. Get your wallet out and pay – no ifs, ands or buts.

It’s not needy to text your date a couple of days later to tell her that you had a great time (if, indeed, you did). Ignore her and she’ll assume that you’re not into it: you’re not 15 anymore and playing hard to get only works very, very occasionally. The right kind of girl won’t accept any BS from someone she thinks doesn’t care.

Don’t be an idiot: there are very few girls who are going to go home with you after the first date. You’re a gentleman, and gentlemen keep it in their pants. If you try and move things forward physically too soon she’s just going to think that you’re after one thing and one thing only and she won’t take you seriously – let alone let you take her on another date.

While there’s absolutely no need to seal the deal on the first date, you also need to let her know that you do have some kind of physical attraction to her, whether that’s something as small as telling her that she looks nice (once is enough – don’t be creepy) or telling her at the end of the night that you’d like to see her again. If you don’t drop some kind of hint that you’re into her, she’ll assume that you aren’t and will shut any future dates down pretty quickly.

Think carefully about where you want to take her on your first date because if you choose somewhere too loud, too bright, too dark, too over-priced, too under-priced or too far away from the centre of town, the likelihood is that she’s not going to trust your opinion a second time around.

You need to work on your chat if you’re continuously not getting further than the first date. Do you ask about her/take an interest in what she does/worked out that you both have a mutual interest in the same music, films, books or have you spoken solely about yourself, everything that’s wrong with the world and everything you hate about life? Work it out, man up, and speak to her like a gentleman.

One of the cardinal sins of dating that no gentleman should ever commit is to mention his ex-girlfriend – and to make it known from the outset that she’s an ex. Slipping into conversation an old ‘friend’ of yours is fine, but stating that she’s an ex is only going to put your date on edge and make her insecure. Talking about an old flame also makes it pretty clear that you’re not over her, and so there’s no way your current date is going to want a second if she thinks that you’re still hung up on someone else.

This might seem shallow but I can assure you that this absolutely does matter. First impressions really do count and if you’re wearing hideous clothes, it’s more than likely that she’s going to take one look at you and realise that you’re probably a bit of a lost cause. Harsh, but true. Make an effort, gentlemen: you have one chance at a first date and so it’s pretty imperative that you don’t screw it up with something as stupid as a bad outfit.

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