20 things British gentlemen say and what we really mean

It can be hard deciphering what a British gentleman means, for a lot of the time we say something as part of social convention or simply because it’s good manners. Here’s a useful little guide:

1. What we say: After you., What we mean: Please move.

2. What we say: With all due respect., What we mean: You are entirely and unequivocally wrong.

3. What we say: I understand your point of view., What we mean: You’re wrong and your opinion isn’t valued here.

4. What we say: By the way., What we mean: The point of this conversation is…

5. What we say: Sorry., What we mean: Hi.

6. What we say: Apologies., What we mean: I’m really not sorry at all.

7. What we say: Mate., What we mean: Person I’ve never met and of whom I already have a vague dislike.

8. What we say: It’s getting late and I should really start thinking about possibly making a move., What we mean: I’m twenty minutes late for something.

9. What we say: How are you?, What we mean: I’m not really that interested but this is all part of social convention, which I am loathe to break.

10. What we say: I’m not too bad, thanks., What we mean: I haven’t given a thought to my own wellbeing.

11. What we say: Yes, my weekend was fine, thanks., What we mean: I sat on my sofa watching repeats of Come Dine with Me.

12. What we say: Don’t worry; it doesn’t matter., What we mean: This will trouble me greatly for the rest of the day

13. What we say: Excuse me, I think you may have dropped something., What we mean: You have dropped something.

14. What we say: Regards., What we mean: I dislike you in both a personal and professional capacity.

15: What we say: Oh, it was nothing, really., What we mean: This is one of my greatest ever achievements.

16. What we say: I may join you later., What we mean: I shall not be seeing you for a while.

17. What we say: I have an idea but it’s a bit out there., What we mean: I am a maverick thinker.

18. What we say: Excuse me, is this seat taken?, What we mean: Move your jacket.

19. What we say: You’re welcome., What we mean: I’m just filling the awkward silence after having been thanked.

20. What we say: I’m just popping out, does anyone want anything?, What we mean: I just want to have a peaceful lunch by myself. Please don’t follow me.