10 Mistakes You Should Never Make When Meeting Her Parents
Words: Violet
You have received the summons to meet the King and Queen of the Kingdom, and it is time to impress her parents as a formal suitor. Gulp. Chin up chaps and follow these don’ts for being allowed to stay in the castle.
1. BE LATE, You will never get that first impression back, and you don’t want your first impression to be you sweaty from running, apologising and receiving the evil eye from your girlfriend who would have been sitting there for 20 minutes already.
2. BE SLOPPY, Dress to impress. If you are serious about this girl then this could possibly be the most important interview of your life. And yes it is an interview, you will be grilled – take a deep breath and deal with it. Crumpled shirts will not do. If you are meeting at a restaurant then check out the dress code – wearing the spare restaurant jacket that is two sizes too big for you will do you no favours. Dinner at their place? Button down shirt and a groomed face will do.
3. TAKE YOUR PHONE TO THE DINING TABLE, Nothing is ruder. Taking your phone to the table gives the impression you have more important people to talk to than them, and that is not the impression to give. Even if it is for work, don’t do it. The big big businessman is too important to turn his phone off for their little angel? Think again!
4. DISRESPECT THE FAMILY RULES, Now say this rendezvous is actually a cosy little family weekend together and they pointedly show you to your room. This is a clear sign to stay in your room. No midnight adventures please. You may think you have been super slick, but her dad will have heard the floorboard creak and will be glaring at you over tea the next morning. To them you will be sending the message that you are the insatiable man who can’t leave their daughter alone for one night.
5. BE A KNOW IT ALL, Obviously it is important to demonstrate that you are attentive and know lots of wonderful facts about their daughter. However, they will delight in telling you unclassified information – they are the motherboard of information and will not take kindly to being informed that actually that’s not her favourite meal. Be sensitive of the fact that having birthed her, they probably know her a bit better than you sonny jim.
6. BE TOUCHY FEELY, It’s a fine line. On the one hand, you do want to show that you are affectionate and loving to her. On the other hand some PDA is just plain inappropriate. Minimise affection to thoughtful gestures like pulling out her chair, hand holding and refilling her glass. Do not paw her – this is a given but the horror stories we have heard speak for themselves!
7. DON’T BROACH SENSITIVE SUBJECTS, Some subjects like money, politics and religion are firmly in the ‘not at dinner’ zone, but do some research and avoid subjects particular to them. Check it out with your girlfriend, there will undoubtedly be that Auntie they all hate, the fact her dad is unemployed or her mum is terrified of dogs. Absorb the information and converse accordingly.
8. DON’T DRINK TOO MUCH, Saying this, if her parents do drink, a bottle of wine is the perfect touch to your ‘thank you for asking me to your home’ speech. Just don’t partake in too much yourself. Even if you are having a great time, a little too much could mean a slip of the tongue and your hard work will be undone.
9. DON’T LIE, Yes Pinocchio even white ones. Saying you love to ski to impress her dad when actually you are like Bambi on ice will come back to haunt you when he suggests an Easter get away. If you are serious enough to be meeting the parents, time will be against you and little fibs will be uncovered.
10. MAKE ENEMIES, This is the main aim of the game, but even if her dad really gets up your nose, under no circumstance show it. As for her mother, well she is your new best friend. She is your ally and will be the key to more invites, recommendations to the rest of the extended family and the shoulder your girl cries on when you have a ‘debate’. Win her over and you’re golden.
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